devonly randomonium

Sugar-coated effery and shenanigans.

Mother Flunker

Baby with Weave

Source: Best Week Ever

There’s one thing that scares me to death. Ok, there are actually two things that scare me to death. One of those things is Deadly Women on I.D. The other thing is parenthood.

No, I’m not preggers and I don’t plan on getting preggers any time soon.

But I look at all of my friends’ Facebook posts of their cute kids doing adorable things and I can’t imagine myself being a mom. Don’t get me wrong. I love kids, but the thought of raising my own scares me to death. Sure, I’ve cared for dogs, fish, a hamster and plants. I even help take care of senior citizens. But keeping a miniature version of yourself alive and thriving for a lifetime is a huge task. You parents out there are probably thinking, “If we can do it, you can too.” I’m glad you have the faith that I don’t. Seriously, a couple of weeks ago, I ran over my cell phone. I can only imagine leaving my kid strapped in a car seat on the roof of my car because I’m in a hurry to get to ___(insert bakery, ice cream or fro-yo place here)__.

I’m just being silly. I don’t think I would be a terrible parent. A terrible parent is someone who lets their kids make twerking videos and post them on YouTube. A terrible parent is someone who has a kiddie fight club in their basement. A terrible parent is also someone who sends their starving kids to your house so you can feed them, and they can save their money for da club. So if I can automatically avoid those things, I’ll be off to a great start!

I guess my hopes are that I raise awesome kids who can handle whatever life throws at them. I don’t want them to wear helmets. I don’t want them to be pyros like their mother was. I also don’t want them to be afraid to try new things or to fail. But I guess my hopes and fears are the same as any new parent’s. But I still have time to brace myself for parenthood. And maybe when my feet are in the stirrups and I’m cussing my husband out because a small watermelon is coming out of my Virginia, it will all make sense.


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