devonly randomonium

Sugar-coated effery and shenanigans.

Boy Stop!

on May 2, 2011

So I’ve been out of the dating scene for a long time now. I spent eight years dating someone who was touched in the head. And the last two years…cue the crickets. I tried the online thing and just received a bunch of random messages from green card candidates(Yes, one dude’s profile picture was his African I.D. picture.), truckers and my ex pretending to be someone else. So I shut all of that crap down. I already had a 100% success rate of meeting a nutball in person, so why should I pay eHarmony or Match to hook me up with one online? Whomp, whomp!

Even though my last relationship had enough drama for a Lifetime movie of the week, I haven’t written all men off. There are some good guys out there. Some of my best friends are guys and what kills me is that we seem to hit it off. So why can’t that magic flow outside of the friend zone? It’s a Chinese riddle in a conundrum.

So good guys exist. That’s great. But the effery that I have experienced and heard about from other people has caused me to become a wee bit cynical. But don’t cry for me Argentina. I know it will work out even if I have to review some of those green card candidates’ profiles again!

Last week, I had a conversation with my sister about this. I also had a shamfreakingwow moment as I listened to some of the stuff she told me.

She was at Wendy’s not too long ago and the guy working at the drive thru window tried to ask her out as she was getting something for dinner. He said, “Hey, I get off in 10 minutes. What you gettin’ into tonight?” Seriously? Boy stop! I guess he thought they made a connection over a value meal or something!

Then she told me about a guy who tried to talk to her while she was working. She said the guy asked her what she was doing after work, and if she had to go home to check on her kids. My sister said, “Um nothing and  no, I don’t have kids.” The guy replied, “For real, you don’t have kids? How did you manage that? I have four.”  Wooooooow!

I went to the gas station one day and I made the mistake of saying hello to the guy at the pump next to me. Next thing I know, I hear “Ay, how you doing?” I prayed that pump would hurry up so I could speed off. He kept trying to talk to me and sell me some steaks in the process! I may be a chunky chick but dude, did you really think I would be seduced by your bootleg conversation and the steaks in the janky deep freezer rigged to the back of your truck? I know times are hard, but dang!

So in the meantime, I’m going to try to stay positive. I’m also going to keep laughing and looking out for myself until I meet my renaissance man.

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